Not your grandparents’ middle age

     “I never imagined that our life would be like this in our 50s.”

     A friend makes that observation. Her husband can’t find work here and so is traveling to other states, going where the work is, for weeks at a time.

     Watching the generations before us get to middle age – kids grown, finally having freedom and money to travel, buying a cottage or RV in anticipation of retirement – set the tone for what many of us pictured for ourselves.

     But that is not the case in her household, as it is not for other Baby Boomers affected by downsizing, layoffs and/or an abysmal job market. The American dream of working until you are ready to retire, in jobs that have responsibilities and salaries commensurate with your experience, is not to be taken for granted. Not anymore. If you have it, it’s a gift. If you don’t, well, join what appears to be a growing club.

     I can think of one family with three brothers in their 50s; two have recently been laid off from lifelong careers. Another man I know who lost his job is now traveling out of state to work each week. His wife and kids remain behind. They can’t take a chance on her leaving her job here.

      I think of another woman, 51, who lost her job about five years ago. She returned to college to get a teaching degree, relying on fast food work and student loans to get through. Graduating two years ago, she couldn’t find a teaching or any other decent job, so kept working fast food while barely paying the bills. Finally, she was hired in Nevada, away from home and most of her family. At least now, though, she has a decent paycheck.

     For me, finding a job that would pay enough to keep the wolves at bay has meant leaving town as well. I love the new job, and am lucky to have it. But it can seem surreal, when I think about it, to come back from work each evening to a small apartment, several hours from family and friends.

     At the same time, I never intended to be coasting into retirement by now either. Having devoted a good two-plus decades to putting parenting over career, I’d always expected this stage of life would be my turn – my opportunity to see how far I might go without those constraints. It’s just that I’d always pictured far in terms of personal growth and upward mobility – not geography.

     All the way around, it’s probably a good thing that 50 is the new 40. A lot of us are going to need that 10 extra years, just to get things on track again.